Away

In this moment all is well.

I am safe.

There is nothing I have to do & nowhere I have to go.

I relax my body & my mind.

I am grateful for this moment.

 

 

 

 

This was my view this weekend. It was absolutely, blissfully, perfect. I've decided that part of the reason I escape when things become to hectic and life gets to be too much is because it is the one time where I can let go of my constant worries and really enjoy my family. I don't think about the house work, the bills that need to be paid or the things that I am failing at. I let it all go and really focus on and enjoy each of my four little miracles.

 

This weekend was brought to you by thing 1. My oldest child LOVES to fish, almost to the point of obsession. In the past this obsession has been one of the hardest things that I have had to deal with as a mother. Saying that he is a persistent child would be like saying that standing on the sun might be a little too warm to handle. He doesn't take "No" for an answer. Even when I say that I just don't see a way that I can get him to a fishing hole that day, he will retort with a long list of "What ifs". This is something that I don't want to take out of him, but something that is completely and utterly exhausting. Just thinking about his persistence is giving me a mild panic attack. I don't like saying "No" if I can help it, but he has three other siblings who have things that they want to do as well, and though I hate to say it, I can't please everyone.

 

As he has gotten older it has been easier to say yes, which is great for him and even more liberating for me. We live fairly close to three different ponds that are stocked on a regular basis. If I'm not able to take him, he can ride his bike to one of the ponds and fish to his heart's content.

 

Lately though, these little ponds just aren't satisfying him like they used to. So the persistence is back in full force. Now he wants to fish on real lakes or rivers. For the first time these requests aren't so debilitating. In fact, they seem to be exactly what I need.

 

Growing up we went camping almost every weekend. Our time was spent fishing, hiking, catching tadpoles and sitting around the fire telling silly stories and listening to the 8 track. My parents had a sweet case that housed some of the finest 8 tracks around. Our nights were filled with the raspy sound of John Denver, the Oak Ridge Boys and Johnny Cash. That was camping to me.

 

When we first had kids we tried camping a couple of times, but soon realized that it was so much work. We were both going to school full time and working full time and trying to be full time parents. Anything that required more than 50% power was just too much. So in the last 15 years we have only been camping maybe 5 times.

 

This summer we went again. Even though it is a lot of work it is exponentially easier now that our kids are older. It still took a full day to get everything packed up and ready to go, but that same amount of packing would have taken me a day and a half if I were doing it on my own. I made a list of things that I needed the kids to find and I worked on my own little projects to help us on our way. Besides the music, camping for me is all about the food. This time we had our traditional Tinfoil Dinners and popcorn cooked over the fire. We also tried Campfire Eclairs which were a HUGE hit!

 

This weekend thing 1 wanted to go fishing, surprise surprise, and instead of coming up with a list of reasons why we couldn't, I said yes. I'm sure there were things that I could have done around the house, or plans that I could have been making, but I bit my tongue and planned a fun day trip to one of my favorite childhood haunts.

 

The mantra at the top of this post is something that I read regularly and something that has helped me be more fully engaged and aware in the present moment. I have a terrible habit of not always enjoying a moment. I think as moms we are wired to think two to three steps ahead so as to anticipate any catastrophes. Something that is brilliant on one hand and life sucking on the other. You can only enjoy the here and now. Though it is important to plan for the possibilities of the future the experience of this present moment will soon become a memory.

 

I am so glad I said yes. We played in the water, snuggled on the beach, laughed at the silliest things and of course,  the boys went fishing.

 

This was our view coming down the canyon. (see, I told you the leaves were changing)

 

 

In the coming week I am going to share with you my plan to stay happy this winter, because really, it is just around the corner.