M.I.A....oy veh!

“If your compassion does not include yourself,

it is incomplete.”  

                                                         -Buddha
 

So, you've probably noticed that I've been "missing in action". I think I only had one post for all of last week. There have been a couple of contributing factors, but I think the single most contributing factor is that I took a running leap off the wagon. I would like to say I "fell off the wagon". I would like to say that I was doing everything in my power to stay on the wagon. I would like to say that I was being dragged behind the wagon, being battered and bruised by rocks and sage brush and the only logical explanation of why I was no longer "on the wagon" was because I had to free myself from the constant beatings. But truth be told I was quite enjoying my ride on the wagon. Things were looking up. I was feeling better physically and mentally and really felt like I had a handle on what I was doing and then suddenly, out of no where I just decided that one Coke wouldn't hurt.

 

I decided that even though everything was perfect I should take this opportunity to screw things up again. I saw something in the distance that resembled happiness in the form of sweet syrup cascading gently over cool refreshing ice with tiny bubbles that exist only to tickle my taste buds. So instead of sitting nicely on the wagon, knowing that I was discovering the path to true happiness, I opted to scream "Sayonara suckers" and jump off. Right now I am so far from the wagon, that I can barely make out the dust cloud created by the wagon wheels in the distant horizon.

 

The thought of chasing after that wagon is exhausting. But I know that if I want things to "work" in my life I have to let caffeine go. I wish I could find balance with caffeine and use it just on days when I have something pressing to do and no energy to do it, but that goes against everything Ayurveda and it goes against everything that my body knows.

 

So here I go again, making a new commitment to you and to myself that I will let it go. But more than just "let it go", this time I am planning new ways to combat cravings. I have been looking into a type of acupuncture that is called "Tapping" or "EFT". My counselor recommended it when I saw her last winter. The basic idea is that the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy systems. This disruption can manifest itself in the form of a craving, a sudden change in affect or illness. By tapping on energy meridian points on your body, and focusing on love and self care, you are able to stabilize your energy fields and return to a place of equilibrium.

 

It looks interesting. Honestly, if someone said that the key to constant happiness is to wear your undies on the outside of your clothing I would jump on board so fast you wouldn't even see the transformation. I might look ridiculous in the process, but I will try anything.



 

Today I choose to have compassion for myself. I recognize my limitations and I create a plan to overcome everything that stands in my way. After all, to quote Stuart Smalley from "Saturday Night Live", "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough, and dog on it people like me."