Farewell to Summer

Every leaf speaks bliss

 to me, fluttering from

the autumn tree.

                       -Emily Bronte

Can you feel it? It's happening in minute changes. It isn't really that much colder yet, but I feel fairly confident in saying that we won't see any more 100+ degree days around here this season. I don't know if it is because we become acclimated by the end of summer or if I'm just ready for the season of big baggy sweaters and everything pumpkin, but I was actually a little chilly yesterday. It was still in the mid 80's. But, as the wind tousled my hair I got a faint shiver that ran up my spine and exploded in a full body quiver.

Today my family is saying farewell to summer by going to the water park. I know that we are still weeks away from the "official end of summer", but with the kids in school and, dare I say it with a gasp, the leaves beginning to change in the higher elevations, it feels like it is time.

I've been waiting to break out some new pumpkin recipes because I don't want to be the person who is ready to put up their Christmas decor one week into November. I don't think I can hold out for much longer. Pumpkin Cheesecake and Pumpkin Bread French Toast with Cinnamon Spiked Syrup, even Pumpkin Canolli's are certain to grace our table.  I have plans to make some new fall decorations from some odds and ends I have laying around the house. The kids and I are going to go to the park and scavenge for pine cones for some fun little burlap acorns I have my eye on making and so that I can make a few more of these beauties for winter. (Look for a step by step guide in the coming weeks)

But, with as much as I look forward to fall, winter scares me. I have begged my husband for YEARS to let us live somewhere that has more mild seasons, and by mild seasons I mean no real acknowledgement of winter at all. A couple of weeks ago I promised him that I would do EVERYTHING in my power to stay happy this winter. To which I made him promise that if my best efforts fail we would finally move from Utah. I hope that it doesn't come to this, but I also know I can't last for too much longer.

I don't want to set myself up to fail. I know what it takes to move and I know moving out of state will be just that much harder. I just hope that I have done the "dirty work" to prepare myself mentally for the coming storms. I am going to do my best to create more adventure time outside, maybe even come up with a winter "bucket list" and countdown. Like watching contractions on the monitor, I think that if I have something tangible to measure when the misery will be over, I think I will be able to endure it. I really hope that this winter I THRIVE instead of merely survive.

On the plus side, I do know a few more things about myself that have been a mystery up until this point. So hopefully with this knowledge and the knowledge that winter does eventually fade into a beautifully colorful spring, I can make it. Here's to a depression free winter, I think it's about time! 





Ayurve-DUH the simple version of what Ayurveda means to me

The body, like everything else in life,

is a mirror of your inner thoughts & beliefs.

Every cell responds to every single

thought you think & every word you speak.

I listen to my bodys messages with

love & respect.

 

 

So at the moment I can't claim to be an expert in all things Ayurveda, but I wanted to take some time today to explain my understanding of Ayurveda and how I apply it in my life. As the quote above says I believe, and the ancient sages of Ayurveda knew, that every thought we have, every breath we take, every bit of nutrition we take into our body, everything we watch and everything we listen to has a direct immediate, and most times, lasting affect on our body. You can see this response when someone elicits a "fight or flight" reaction. When your body senses danger it immediately begins rallying the troops to get you out of the dangerous situation. It increases your heart rate, dilates your pupils and decreases your reaction time compared to a restful state. It releases chemicals into your blood stream that helps your body know that it is ready for whatever is coming your way. It also takes this opportunity to slow down your digestion and if you were a woman in labor it might also slow down your progression because your body knows that any time where you may need to fight or flee is no time to have a baby or use the restroom.

 

 

In David Eagleman's "Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain", he describes new research that suggests that when we view violence our body believes that it is under attack and will react in much the same way, releasing the same chemical messengers, as someone who is actually in a dangerous situation. They studied monkeys that were eating bananas and monkeys that were simply watching another monkey eat a banana. In both instances the same area of the brain "lit up" with activity. The same could be applied to watching something that brings you joy. How many times have you found yourself smiling at the TV? After an uplifting program, how often have you walked away feeling happier than when you started the program?

 

There is a quote that I have been trying to find for several days. The essence of the quote is that every bite we take sends information to your body. You consume the DNA of what you eat and within that DNA is information that will either nourish and protect your body or hurt it. I will post it here when I find it because it says it so much better than I just described, but the message is still the same.

 

Ayurveda describes three main body types or doshas, Vata, Pitta and Kapha. Knowing what doshas are present in your body will help you decide how to balance your life. The sages suggest particular routines to follow, what diseases or "dis ease" may come into your life if your dosha is not balanced and how to live life in tune with your natural body type. There are several quiz's online to discover your dosha, but the one from the Chopra Center is one of my favorite. Most people aren't just one dosha, but when you find yourself in a state of "dis ease" you should focus on your primary dosha and make sure that it is in balance. Here is the link to the dosha quiz.  http://doshaquiz.chopra.com/ At the end of the quiz you will also get additional information regarding your dosha type.

 

All dosha types benefit from routine, but the amount of sleep needed or optimal "wake up" time varies by dosha. My morning routine, when I am doing EVERYTHING that I know will make me happy, looks something like this:

 

5:00 am Wake up, wash my face, brush my teeth, use the restroom (probably a bit TMI, but Ayurveda talks a LOT about digestion).

 

5:15-5:45 Practice Yoga, salutation to the sun.

 

5:45-6:00 Preform Abhyanga. (Using warm oil, give a quick massage to your entire body. I usually do this in the shower to avoid getting oil everywhere. Vata types should use sesame oil. Pitta should use sunflower or coconut oil. This made me smile because my youngest is pitta through and through. Recently we took her to a doctor for eczema and he said that new research was showing that the use of sunflower oil is really beneficial for eczema. Kapha should use sunflower or mustard oil.) It is a head to toe massage, here is a link to how to perform the massage. http://archive.chopra.com/abhy

 

6:00-6:15 Shower. Ayurveda suggests leaving the oil on throughout the day, but that isn't something that I have been able to do yet.

 

6:15 Wake up the rest of the family and make breakfast. Vata types do well with a warm porridge type breakfasts, again there is a HUGE list of things that will balance the different dosha's, but I have found that if I listen to what my body wants I usually come away with something that is on the list, which always makes me smile.

 

7:30 After the kids are off to school I walk the dog and meditate.

 

Ayurveda suggests a slow walk after eating to aid in digestion. I've found that it also helps elevate and maintain my mood throughout the day. They also suggest a few more elements to build into your morning routine, but I haven't quite figured out how to fit them in and haven't discovered their benefits yet. I'm still learning.

 

This is just the very surface of what Ayurveda is. If you want to learn more I suggest the book "Perfect Health" by Deepak Chopra. It dives into the science behind an Ayurvedic lifestyle and the mind body connection. It also has a pretty complete list of things to bring balance back into your life.

 

I hope you enjoyed a little taste of what my life with Ayurveda looks like. I hope to expand my knowledge and practice of an Ayurvedic lifestyle within the coming months and years. I promise to share anything new that I learn or any tips that I come up with to help our western way of thinking and lifestyle fuse with this eastern way of health.

 



Band-Aids

I want to travel the world

and breathe the air of new places.

 

 

 



When I was in college I had several anxious, worry filled moments. I worried that my grades were not as good as they should be. I worried that I wouldn't be able to stretch the money that my parents had given me to last throughout the month. I worried that I was disappointing my parents. I worried that I wasn't studying hard enough. All of these worries and the worries surrounding my upcoming marriage came to a head one spring morning and I found myself having a minor panic attack.

I knew that there were certain things that I would always worry about, but the crushing fear and inability to function that day almost took me out. I wandered around campus like a ghost attending my classes, but being completely disconnected from the present moment. I couldn't focus on anything but the pounding in my chest and the anxious feeling that I just couldn't get to the root of.

After class I walked into our lobby of my dorm and talked with one of my friends. I described my anxiety asking if he had ever just been super anxious but couldn't figure out why, to which he replied, "Yeah, it's kind of like you need to travel." I was sold! I knew if I could just get away from everything that was causing me stress I could relax. I knew that I didn't have a lot of money, but if I got a couple of my roommates together we could all pitch in on gas and could take a little weekend away. Since we were only a couple of miles from Lava Hot Springs we decided this was the perfect retreat.

So we packed up our towels and swim suits and piled into my little Toyota Corolla. About an hour into our drive we came to a familiar fork in the road. The previous year a couple of friends and I had vacationed in Seattle for spring break. We had fallen in love with the Ansel Adam's print of Multnomah falls in Oregon, so we planned a trip around the falls that turned into a brilliant get away. The fork that I was approaching on this trip would either take us to Lava Hot Springs if we turned right and Seattle if we turned left. After about 20 seconds of deliberation, with a hoot and a holler we turned LEFT!

The energy of the car immediately changed. Though we were excited to go to Lava Hot Springs the possibility of an adventure in Seattle held so much more mystery and promise. We gave no thought to the fact that we had no money, no change of clothes, no toiletries, we just knew that adventure was calling and we had no other choice but to answer.

By this time the sun was beginning to set and I worried for a moment that we might have bitten off more than I could chew. My Corolla was a stick shift and I was the only one in the car that could drive a stick. We left the dorm around 6:00 and knowing that we had 12-13 hours of driving ahead of us, I worried that I wouldn't be able to stay awake for the whole journey. But I also knew there was no turning around. Keep in mind that this was in a time before cell phones. (Some people had them, but they weren't intended for starving college students) So if we did find ourselves in a ditch, we would have to sit and wait until some stranger just happened upon us.

At our first stop I loaded up on Mt. Dew and chocolate. We were still giddy about our decision and were clucking out ideas about what we could do when we arrived in Seattle. By 1:00 am almost everyone had settled down and we were quietly listening to the radio. By 2:00 everyone in the car was asleep, including me, for the most part. I look back on that trip and wonder how we ever made it. We were driving through canyons with steep cliffs at a rate of speed that was barely safe for someone who was completely conscious and there were distinct sections of the drive that I just don't remember. It was not my brightest moment.

By 3:00 I knew that I was REALLY no longer safe to drive. We stopped for gas and I told my friends that we would either need to sleep there for a couple hours or someone else would need to man the helm. My roommate Mindy got a crash course in driving a manual transmission and we were on our way. I settled in to the back seat and slept for two hours straight without even the slightest inkling that I wasn't comfortably in my bed.

When we stopped for breakfast I was refreshed and ready to take over again. We continued our journey without further incident, unless you count getting pulled over and issued a warning for speeding by a lovely highway patrolman from Oregon.

I think we spent a total of 8 hours in Seattle but we sucked every last drop of fun out of the trip as we possibly could. We rode the ferry over to Bainbridge island and sipped on Italian sodas, we ate lunch at the diner featured in "Sleepless in Seattle" (pictured above), we strolled through Pikes Market and bought pastries and big beautiful grapes, we saw the space needle and just released ourselves to the notion of serendipity.

I bring this trip up, not to show you how fun and spontaneous I am (which you will hopefully discover on your own as we become better friends), but to come to the realization that travel for me is a band-aid. Since this trip I have found myself with an unrelenting drive to travel especially when I am feeling stressed or anxious. I work where I work to satisfy my wanderlust.

Earlier this year I had the opportunity to speak with a therapist who taught me that anxiety and depression are best of friends. She said that many people with depression also have issues with anxiety. We talked through ways to cope with anxiety besides slapping on a band-aid, and I think that I have been able to take a step back when those familiar feelings begin cropping up and really analyze what is going on. That doesn't mean that I don't still have an immediate, unquenchable desire to get out of Dodge, it just means that when those feelings come up I look inside to make sure there isn't something else spurring that desire.

I realize, now more than ever, that I can't always just pack up and get away. I need to face my anxiety head on, clean up the wound and work on healing it. Even though travel is a LOVELY alternative to facing my problems, my problems will still be there when the thrill of the adventure has worn off and I'm left with a post vacation hangover.

The Slow Road

We must take adventures,

in order to know where we truly belong.

 

 

 





 

Last summer the hubs and I were able to go to Hawaii twice, once with the kids in February and once by ourselves in May. Working for an airline, we travel as often as our pocketbooks will allow. On our trip in May we rented a tandem kayak in Kailua, Oahu and paddled out to the little island in the foreground of this picture. I believe collectively they are called the Mokulua Islands and the one we landed on is called Moku Nui. On the right hand side you can see the beach, the middle of the island is a bird sanctuary and on the left is a beautiful little lagoon that has been carved out of the island by waves (but more on that later).

 

When we rented the kayak the guides gave us some very specific instructions on how to access the island, #1 for safety and #2 to help preserve the sanctuary. There were three little islands that were pretty close to each other. The first one that we came to was flat and pretty barren, so we decided to keep on paddling. The one in the background of the picture is completely off limits because the whole thing is a bird sanctuary. So we set our sites on Moku Nui.

 

We remembered that we were to access the island on the beach side, and we remembered not to cross over the middle of the island. We also remembered to watch the waves a couple of times before trying to cross any of the wet volcanic rock to avoid being swept out to sea. What we didn't remember was if we were supposed to paddle out to the first island, run parallel with the beach and then take a sharp left until we hit the beach of Moku Nui. Or, if we were supposed to paddle out until we had a straight shot of Moku Nui and then paddle parallel to the beach.

 

We did the second and quickly found that the first set of directions were the ones we were supposed to follow. We found ourselves mixing it up with waves that could topple our little kayak if we didn't fight to stay afloat. Looking at the picture, we were heading straight for the rock where the waves break on the corral, right where the dark blue water becomes aqua. So instead of paddling straight for the island we would have to turn our kayak and paddle into the wave, straighten out and paddle towards the island and then back into a wave again making little stair steps towards the island.

 

As the waves were battering us we thought about turning back, but by the time we discovered we were in trouble the waves had gotten pretty big and going back the way we came was more treacherous than continuing our journey. We couldn't turn towards Kailua because there was a narrow channel running between the beach of Kailua and the beach of Moku Nui that was perpendicular with our current location. Paddling straight for the shore of Kailua meant the very real possibility of being thrown into the coral and becoming beached. So we just kept paddling, digging in as deep as we could, knowing that with every paddle forward we were also being pushed back. Our progress was slow but long story short, we made it!

 

 

 



 

In the background of this picture you can see the waves that ran between the islands, they are only about half as big as the ones we were paddling into.

 

We rested for a bit and warmed up on the sun drenched beach and decided it was time for some more discovery. So we hiked along the volcanic rock until we found the little lagoon.

 

 

After testing the water and making sure we wouldn't be dragged from the lagoon out into the open sea we decided to jump in. We swam around with beautiful tropical fish and floated effortlessly in the rich warm salt water. The best part, we had the whole thing to ourselves. It was like we were the only two people alive on the planet. It was pure bliss!

 

I was thinking about this adventure last night as I was going over the events of the day. I had planned on waking up early and working out. I have been wanting to lose some weight for a while now, but in the past I have lost a good amount of weight, something happens and I become sad and I gain it all back again. I know what it takes to lose weight, but the getting sad part has halted me in my tracks. I am currently doing pretty well, as far as my mood is concerned, and the thought of getting to a sad place again scares me! So when my alarm went of yesterday morning that was the only thought in my mind. If I exercise, I will lose weight, I will get sad and I will gain it all back again which will just make me even more sad. So I hit snooze and that was the end of that.

 

I've decided to give myself a break. Instead of: constantly beating myself up with insults; restrictive diets that just make me cranky and cardio driven workouts I have chosen a more mindful approach. I will give myself time. Though I would have liked to have lost the weight yesterday, yesterday is gone and nothing will change that. I will move forward, making healthy food choices and expand my yoga practice. This, like my adventure to Moku Nui, may be the slow road, but it is a sustainable road. I may take two steps forward and one step back, but this is still progress. In the end I will arrive at my own little private island and I will be a better, happier person for choosing the slow road.

 

 

Slow Cooker Pork Chili Verde, Grilled Mexican Street Corn and Sopapilla Cheesecake

Variety is the very spice of life

that gives it all it's flavor.

 

                      -William Cowper

 

 

 

Growing up we ate out A LOT. I thought it was perfectly normal until I got married. My husband informed me that eating out 2-3 times per week was excessive and would take a whole lot of extra money that we just didn't have being newly weds. When my family ate out we frequented a Mexican restaurant called Rafael's, owned by our next door neighbors family. They had the most AMAZING Chili Verde! I have tried replicating it on several occasions and for the most part I've failed. I have tried cooking the pork first, roasting tomatillos, slaving over a hot stove for hours only to come away with sauce that just wasn't right and pork that was tough. Well tonight I came as close to the perfect replication as I ever have. It also happens to be the easiest attempt I've ever made. This will definitely be back on our regular rotation.

 

 

 

Slow Cooker Pork Chili Verde

 

 

1 large pork roast 3-4 pounds

1 16 oz jar mild salsa verde

1 3 oz can mild diced green chilli's

2 Tbsp corn starch

1/4 c ice cold water

 

Prepare crock pot by spraying bottom and sides with non-stick cooking spray for easier clean up. Place pork roast fat side up in prepared crock pot. Resist the urge to trim the fat away. By placing it fat side up the fat will help tenderize the meat. You can always cut it away after it has cooked. Cover with salsa verde and diced green chili's. Cook on high for 5 hours. Whisk corn starch into ice cold watter and stir into crock pot. Cook an additional hour, this is the magic spot where the pork becomes really tender. My crock pot recommends cooking on high for 4 hours, but the additional time actually tenderizes the pork. Shred pork and serve in warm tortillas with sour cream and any other toppings you like.

 

 

 

Grilled Mexican Street Corn

 

 

4 ears corn

1/4 c sour cream

1/4 c mayonnaise

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp chili powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

1-2 Tbsp asiago cheese grated,

could also use grated parmesan cheese or

crumbled cotija (Mexican cheese)

1 lime (optional)

 

Pull husks back to about an inch before the end and remove silk. Roll husks back onto the corn. Submerge in cold water for about 10 minutes weighted down with a plate. Grill over medium low heat for 20 minutes turning every 5 minutes. Remove husks and turn grill up to high. Cook for an additional 5 minutes, turning every 1-2 minutes until grill marks appear.

 

While corn is cooking whisk together sour cream, mayonnaise, garlic powder, cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper. Once corn has finished cooking butter the corn with the sour cream mixture and sprinkle with your desired type of cheese.

 

 

Besides the Chili Verde I LOVED the sopapilla's at Rafael's. Our dessert tonight took me on a time traveling adventure back to my childhood palate. I loved every bite!

 

 

 

Sopapilla Cheesecake

 

 

2 cans crescent roll sheets

2 8 oz pkgs cream cheese softened

1 c sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

2 Tbsp butter melted

cinnamon sugar to sprinkle over the top

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Beat cream cheese, sugar, egg and vanilla until smooth. Spread 1 can of crescent roll sheets into an ungreased 9X16 pan. Pour cream cheese mixture over crescent roll sheet and top with second can of crescent roll sheets. Brush melted butter over top and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar. Bake for 20-30 minutes until crust is golden brown and cheesecake is set.     

A retraction of sorts...

Remember, they are only thoughts,

and thoughts can be changed.

The point of power

is always in the present moment.

 

 

I was just reading over my "Namaste" post and I realized that I came off a little arrogant, so I wanted to take a moment to explain myself. Having been a wounded soldier in the war on depression I know that you can't simply CHOOSE to be happy. If that is all it took there wouldn't even be a word to describe depression because everyone would choose to be happy and we would be done with it.

 

Depression is such a complex experience that is unique to the person who is going through it. For me, I went from being a vibrant happy person who prided herself on being a "June Cleaver" housewife to being a bump on a log with only the slightest hint of a pulse. I know being "June Cleaver perfect" isn't the ideal for most people, but I LOVED a clean house. I LOVED dressing my kids up in somewhat matching outfits, their hair neatly done, so that when I took pictures of them it would be easier for me to find scrapbook paper to immortalize and document this time in their lives. I LOVED having dinner on the table, the house picked up and the kids playing happily together when my husband came home. This is what I expected of myself and, for the most part, this is what our life looked like.

 

When it didn't look like this, vicious voices would begin gnawing at my brain. If the kids were fighting I would think, "I must be a horrible mother. They ALWAYS fight. I must not be teaching them the things I should." When dinner wasn't on the table, or HEAVEN forbid we had take out, I would think, "Why can't I keep it together. My family is going to fall apart if I keep this up. Who can grow and thrive on McDonald's? I AM such a looser."

 

These voices were the beginning of the end. After a while I really started to believe these voices and eventually I gave up. My "June Cleaver" image became too hard to maintain. I was crushed. 

 

The first time I called to make an appointment with a doctor about depression I bawled when the receptionist asked me the reason for my visit. To save face, I cancelled the appointment a couple of days later. I just couldn't bare the thought of someone knowing that I couldn't "keep it together". I suffered in silence for another year. 

 

At my annual exam with my OB I decided to bring it up. My hope was that she could recommend a "natural" solution. This part makes me sad. In my mind the thought of asking for a prescription meant that I was just that much further gone. That I was that much more "broken". If I could fix it with herbs or meditation I thought that would mean I wasn't really officially depressed. I wish that there wasn't such a stigma around the use of medication for a medical condition. No one would look at a diabetic and say, "You know, you really don't NEED insulin. You should try focusing on the positive and THINK your way out of it. If you need medication you are weak." BUT this is thrown in the face of people facing depression every day. Well meaning people try to "medicate" people with depression by telling them what has worked to turn around their sadness. Sadness and depression are not the same thing. I expect that even when I have recovered from this latest depressive episode I will experience sadness. Sadness is a part of life. Depression shouldn't be.

 

So I left her office with a prescription for Celexa. I took it faithfully for a couple of months and noticed a slight change in my mood, but not enough to say it worked. I made another appointment and left with a prescription for Welbutrin, but after 4-5 days worth of migraines an hour or so after I took it, I decided Welbutrin wasn't my fix. I could mostly function with depression. I couldn't function with a house full of kids and migraines every day. I just want to say that anyone who has gone through trial and error with their doctor to find something that works is a ROCK STAR. It can take months of baring your soul to another human being, who looks like they have it all together, to finally find something that works. I wasn't that strong. I thought, after two attempts, if I couldn't get it right then I couldn't go back because, once again, I was failing. So I didn't go back and suffered through some of the worst years of my life. On the outside they should have been some of the happiest years, but on the inside I was dying. 

 

In those years I tried herbs, yoga and meditation, I even went to a therapist (something that I am eternally grateful for). I started following an Ayurvedic lifestyle which incorporated specific lifestyle changes and routines. Out of everything, I learned to listen to my body again. I learned that my body doesn't do well with caffeine. I always felt that I needed caffeine to maintain my perfect housewife image, because let's face it, the house doesn't clean itself. This still plays into my life as the ultimate paradox. I need caffeine to keep up with the kids and the house, but caffeine eventually makes me sluggish and unable to perform even the most basic task. I also learned that I can't eat a lot of sugar without it being balanced with some protein. With both caffeine and sugar I would find myself being harder on myself and my kids and even feel a wave of sadness as the sugar was being metabolized. 

 

Now that you know my background story. I want you to know that you CAN choose to be happy. You can CHOOSE to talk to your doctor and find a prescription that works for you. You can CHOOSE to take your medication. You can CHOOSE to do yoga and meditate. You can CHOOSE to listen to your body and find the thing that will change your way of thinking. You can CHOOSE to go to a therapist and learn from their wealth of knowledge. Only you can CHOOSE to be happy. You can CHOOSE to say "No More Today". Namaste.

 

Southwest Avocado Ranch Salad

Not until we are lost do we begin

to understand ourselves.

 

                     -Thoreau

 

I didn't realize how much I needed a creative outlet until I started writing this blog. I had a personal blog that I used post to on a very regular basis, but for a time I lost my voice. I am happy that I have found it again and am even happier to share tonight's dinner. This morning I picked up my Bountiful Basket and immediately began dreaming up different ways that I could use it's contents this week.

 

 

The lettuce was a no brainer. I knew that tonight we would be enjoying a BIG beautiful salad with crunchy french bread on the side. I have made a version of this dressing a couple of times, but since we had GORGEOUS organic avocados I decided to mix things up a bit and turn our regular "Southwest Ranch" into "Southwest Avocado Ranch", and it was DELICIOUS!

 

 

If you ever bring home lettuce and it is a little wilty, don't despair. There are several ways to bring that luscious goodness back to life. My favorite way is to wait until the day I am using it, chop it up into bite sized pieces, fill my salad spinner with ice cold water and let the lettuce soak while I chop up my other veggies. By the time the other ingredients are ready to go your lettuce will be crisp and cold, just the way it should be.

 

 

 

Southwest Avocado Ranch Dressing

 

 

1 pkg ranch dressing mix

1/2 pkg taco seasoning

1 ripe avocado

milk and mayo as per ranch dressing instructions

 

Cut and mash avocado. Prepare ranch dressing as per instructions on package. Combine dressing, avocado and taco seasoning. Chill for 30 minutes to allow it to thicken.

 

 

 

Southwest Avocado Ranch Salad

 

1 head lettuce chopped

1 green pepper chopped

2 tomatoes diced

2 avocados diced

1/2 15.25 oz can corn drained

1/2 15.25 oz can black beans drained and rinsed

2 chicken breasts cooked and shredded

crunchy tortilla strips

bacon crumbles

 

Chop lettuce and place in ice cold water within salad spinner. Meanwhile chop all other vegetables. Drain lettuce and spin until it is dry. Combine first seven ingredients and dressing. Top with tortilla strips and bacon crumbles. Enjoy!

 

 



Farfalle Chicken Alfredo Bake

I am a brilliant, gifted artist of the everyday.

My art is a blessing for me and mine.

 

                 -Sarah Ban Brethnach

 

Today's quote came from one of my favorite books of all time. In my journey to "find myself" again, a dear friend gave me the book "Simple Abundance" by Sarah Ban Brethnach. In this particular entry she encourages us to realize that we are all "Artists of the Everyday". We may not be composing symphonies or painting a masterpiece, but "baking a cake could be as much a work of art as choreographing a ballet, if you approach it with as much dedication." She goes on to describe the different ways you may approach preparing a meal. Do you throw the ingredients together in a fit of furry, whisk them together and hope for the best. Or, do you take time to center yourself taking care that things are done in the order and with the care that they deserve. If you do then Sarah says, "Love is present. Love is the spiritual energy that induces elevation-the transcendent moment in creation when craft becomes art." 

 

Whenever I prepare a meal for my family I try to do as Sarah suggests. I take a moment to center myself and remember that love will be present as we enjoy the food and so love should be present when I prepare the food. I've also found that music can help center my thoughts and elevate my mood. So I listen to music that inspires me, from the culture or region that the dish originates. Tonight, it was Italian. Sometimes I listen to authentic Italian music, other times I listen to what we have come to accept as "Italian" because of our many trips to Olive Garden. I have fallen in love with Pandora. I love that I can enter a genre into the little box and out pops a compilation of music that would take me years to acquire. For this meal I listened to my "Mambo Italiano" station. It was perfect!

 

Not all of the recipes in my blog will be strictly Ayurvedic, but I am hoping to approach my meal planning by listening first to my body and then composing a meal that fits within what my body is telling me. Tonight that meant comfort food. This week has brought a lot of upheaval at our house. The kids have gone back to school and I am now putting the pieces back together so that our house and our lives will play nicely with what lies ahead of us. I don't do well with change. So switching gears from the lazy days of summer to the stress of the school year with all of its deadlines and drama has kind of thrown me for a loop. 

 

But I think I'm back. When I am cooking I'm happy and when I'm happy, I cook. So things are looking up. I hope you enjoy this meal idea. It is really easy to prepare and a great "go to" for those days when you just need a little cheesy, creamy comfort. 

 

Farfalle Chicken Alfredo Bake  

 



 

 







Alfredo Sauce

 

1 c. butter

4 oz cream cheese
1 tsp. fresh garlic, minced

4 c. heavy cream

4 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. dried oregano

1 1/3 c. parmesan cheese

 

Melt butter in medium sauce pan over medium heat. Add garlic and stir until the butter mixture has a nice garlic smell to it (1-2 minutes). Stir in heavy cream, cream cheese, garlic powder and oregano and bring to a simmer. Stirring constantly, continue simmering until it has thickened to desired consistency (10-15 minutes) being careful not to overcook or sauce may break down and loose it's creaminess. Remove from heat and stir in parmesan cheese.

 

  

 

Farfalle Chicken Alfredo Bake

 

2 chicken breasts shredded (rotisserie chicken is my favorite)

1 lb. farfalle pasta

2-3 c. shredded mozzarella cheese, divided

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. While preparing Alfredo sauce cook pasta to al dente directions posted on pasta package. The pasta will continue to cook in the oven and also when the hot Alfredo sauce is poured over the top. Drain thoroughly and top with alfredo sauce and chicken. Stir to combine. Stir in 1-2 c. mozzarella cheese. Prepare 16X9 baking dish by spraying sides and bottom with non-stick cooking spray for easier clean up. Transfer pasta mixture to prepared baking dish. Cover with foil and bake for 25 minutes. Remove foil, top with additional cheese and continue cooking for 5 more minutes.  

Namaste

My soul honors your soul.

I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides.

I honor the light, love, truth, beauty and peace within you,

because it is also within me.

In sharing these things we are united, we are the same,

we are one.

Namaste.

 

Why "No Mas Today"? I chose my blog title as a constant reminder that there will be "No More Today". No more waiting to be happy. No more listless days spent crying that things are not the way I want them to be. No more knowing what I need to do to tear the depression from the bones that it clings to and refusing to put in the effort. No more giving someone else the power to decide the level of happiness I deserve. No more playing the victim.

It took several silent moments, where a sliver of sunlight reminded me that the sun did still exist, to come to the realization that I am worth fighting for. I am a great person that has so much to offer the world. In the deepest, darkest days of depression I had forgotten that. I had forgotten what it meant to be happy. I had forgotten that even the daily mundane tasks could bring joy.

So, no mas today. Today I am turning over that incredibly heavy leaf. I am putting myself first so that I can be the best person I can be for myself, my kids and my husband. They say, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". I hope that throughout the last few years I have been able to mask my unhappiness so that my children don't look back at this time with sadness. I choose happiness for me and my family. I don't want them to be unhappy because I wasn't willing to do the things that I needed to do to find happiness. I am worth it and so are they!

Within this blog, I hope to share with you my journey. I will be sharing little anecdotes of my life, love and passions. I will also be sharing ideas to simplify your life so that you too can find happy again. I will be sharing new recipes that I discover and create that mirror an Ayruvedic lifestyle. Ayurveda is an ancient Indian way of life that focuses on food being a source of healing and joy. There are many other elements of Ayurveda, but I have found that if you start with food the rest follows. If you fill your belly with the things that it needs you become more in tune to the other subtle cues that your body is trying to communicate. I believe that many everyday ailments could be alleviated by simply listening to these cues.

Recently I was asked to write as a member of the Bountiful Baskets blogging team, something that I am so honored and humbled to do. I found Bountiful Baskets at a particularly tough time in my life. It was a time where it was difficult to get out of bed let alone prepare healthy delicious meals for my family. I felt weighed down by the everyday tasks of motherhood and having to plan a menu, shop for the food, bring the food home, put it away and then take it back out again, prepare it, clean up the carnage that happens with a family of six and then do it all over again. But when I didn't nourish my family I felt like a failure, which made everything else just that much worse.

When I got my first basket I felt an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer had to think about which vegetables I wanted to incorporate into our meals for the coming week. I simply had to show up with my basket and take home all of the delicious goodness. I started looking at my meal planning in a completely different way. Not only was I bringing home vegetables and fruit that I hadn't thought of trying before, but I was also planning our meals around the vegetables in my basket instead of planning an entree and then throwing a vegetable at it as an afterthought.

Here is a link to their website. I would be happy to answer any questions you might have about Bountiful Baskets and would encourage you to check them out!

http://bountifulbaskets.org/

And here is a link to their blog. Look forward to many tasty meal ideas that will nourish your mind, body and soul. Namaste.

http://blog.bountifulbaskets.org/

An introduction...

Awake, my dear,

be kind to your sleeping heart.

Take it out to the vast field of light

and let it breathe.

                            -Hafiz

Hello blogging world. I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself as it seems that we are about to become very good friends. My name is Cindy. I am the mother of 4 children who range in age from 14 to 7. I was a nurse for 5 years, stayed home with my kiddo's for 5 years and am now in my 4th year working as a reservations agent for an airline. Somewhere during the "stay at home" years I lost myself. I lost my lust for life. I lost what it was that defined me. Loosing myself was an extremely painful process that left me scared and broken. I have been dealing with depression fairly constantly for the last 7 years. I think that I had depressive seasons prior to this, but none have taken hold and settled in to this level.

A friend of mine said that most people who suffer from depression have a particular way of describing their feelings that are uniquely theirs. For me, depression is a larger than life boa constrictor. Bigger than "Snakes on a Plane", bigger than those horrific beasts in "Anaconda". My boa is content as long as it can feel itself wrapped gently around my flesh. As long as I hold still and don't breath too deeply I can stay softly in it's grasp. BUT, any movement, any attempt to free myself results in a tightening of it's cold, hard muscles.

For the past several years I have sat as quietly and peacefully as possible to avoid disrupting this sleeping giant. If I sit still it is only mildly annoying. I can still function, for the most part. I can do those things that need to be done. They are not done with joy, or excitement as this would alert my boa and she would begin the task of tightening just a little more so that I can't escape. But, escape is the one drowning thought that floods my mind day and night, keeping me scattered and unable to focus on anything else. Maybe if I hold my breath and puff up my chest, maybe she won't notice if I slowly exhale and slip away. But in this state, where breathing is the only thing that I know I CAN do, the thought of holding my breath until she loosens her grip scares me. So I sit and wait, praying for relief, and in my darkest hour I feel completely alone. 

But, there is hope. While I have been waiting for my boa to grow tired of me I have read every book that I can find on the subject of depression and mental well being. One book that has been particularly influential is Deepak Chopra's "Perfect Health". This book resonated a truth that felt so inherently natural that I have begun to practice what it suggests. I know that my body wants to function perfectly (this includes every aspect of my body from my head, hallelujah, to my feet). The disconnect comes when I don't listen to the subtle cues it gives and when those cues get pushed aside and covered up with things like caffeine and sugar. Maybe the only way to escape from my boa is to feed her the things she needs, to move gently, to treat her kindly and maybe when the sun comes out again, maybe she will slither away, satisfied, into the darkness.